Unspeakable Phrase
by Sunny-For-Life
Summary: Roxas just can't seem to say those three little words, no matter how hard he tries. His frustration causes him to lash out at Axel, the one person he can turn to for anything. Happy Akuroku Day 2012! Oneshot.


Hey guys! It's been a while, hasn't it? ^_^;

I've been on DeviantArt mostly, but I make sure to update on here whenever I write new fanfictions. (Which hasn't been happening a lot lately…)

If you want to stay more updated with my fanfictions, I suggest looking at my dA. It's on my profile. :3

Buuuuuuuut it's AkuRoku Day! Hope you all have a great day! XD

(*cough cough* I published my first fanfiction on here this time last year. HOORAY FOR A YEAR OF FANFICTION WRITING. :D )

Annnyyway, I hope you enjoy all of the fluff!~

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts

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I can't say it.

I just can't say it.

And the guilt of this weighs on me every time he calls my name, or looks at me, with that happy smile on his face.

Maybe if I could just-

"Something wrong, Roxas?"

I jumped, not seeing his approach.

"No… I'm fine. Just… tired I guess."

He frowned, putting a hand on my head, ruffling my hair. "Well, cheer up! Today's our day off, we can do whatever we want."

I sighed, not really interested in doing anything but sleeping. Or staring at a wall. Or sitting in my bed staring at the w-

"Oi!" He flicked my forehead, laughing. "Stop sulking, we're going out." He grabbed my hand, pulling me towards a portal.

No… I didn't want to spend time with him right now. I'd just keep feeling worse and worse…

"I don't really want to go…" I mumbled, tugging my hand back, but getting now reaction.

I tried again, this time saying it a bit louder.

Still nothing.

He was still happy, still smiling, thinking we were going to have a day full of laughing together.

But I couldn't. Not with this weight on my shoulders.

"AXEL!"

He stopped, looking back at me with wide eyes.

"I SAID I DON'T WANT TO GO!"

He blinked, dropping my hand like it was a snake.

"Alright… We won't go…"

Great, now I felt like I'd just kicked a puppy.

"Look, I… I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling up to it, okay?"

"Yeah… No problem, I get it." He forced a smile on his face to show he was okay with it. Although I'd probably just crushed all his plans he'd been thinking about for a while.

There was a long silence between us, while he looked at me, studying my face, and I tried my best to look at anything but him.

Finally he spoke, despite my silent pleading for him to just leave me alone so I could bash my head against the wall for shouting at him. "What's wrong? Something's bothering you."

I barely opened my lips, not wanting to reply, "Nothing…"

He sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "Well, it looks like we'll have to do this the hard way."

"What are yo- PUT ME DOWN!"

He had tossed me over his shoulder in one movement, already moving towards wherever his destination was.

"No can do, Roxas. This is the only way I can get you there."

"Dammit, I can walk on my own!"

He chuckled, whistling and waving with his other hand at a smirking Xigbar who walked by.

"I see you two are making the most of your day off." I could already see him planning to use this moment as blackmail in some way.

I glared at Xigbar as he passed me, hoping the angry expression would hide the blush on my face. "Shut up! I was taken against my will!"

"Oooo, kinky."

I hid my face in my hands, there was no arguing against that perverted, old man.

Finally after a few more minutes of useless protesting, Axel opened the door to his room, dropping me on the bed like a sack of potatoes and closed and locked the door before I could attempt to escape.

I crossed my arms, refusing to look at or speak to him.

The bed shift as he sat down next to me. I could feel his gaze on me, but still refused to acknowledge his existence.

"Look… Sorry about the rough treatment, but I wanted to talk to you in private."

No response from me.

He sighed, leaning back on his elbows. "I've been noticing you acting weird for a while Roxas. At first I thought it was a coincidence, but… there's a trend to it."

My anger at him dissipated instantly. He'd… noticed? Figures… I could never hide anything from him.

"If it bothers you so much, I can stop saying it. I don't want you to feel forced about anything in this rela- "

"I don't mind it." I interrupted instantly, forgetting my vow of silence.

"You don't?"

"It doesn't bother me."

A hand on my shoulder, "Roxas, I don't want you to lie just to make me feel better."

I looked over at him, getting frustrated. "I'm not lying, okay? I really don't mind it when you say that. It… It makes me happy."

He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to understand. "So why do you always get that look on your face? Like someone just told you there's no more sea salt ice cream?"

I had to smile a bit at that comparison. Dammit… he just had to know how to make me laugh.

"…Because I can't say it."

Suddenly he was laughing. Full on laughter, the kind where you have to bend over and just let it all out.

I frowned, suddenly furious at him. I stood up with my hands clenched at my sides. "**It's not funny!**"

He didn't stop laughing until he heard the choke in my voice, looking up to see tears building up in my eyes.

"Whoa… Roxas… Hey, don't cry-"

"I'm not crying! I'm just frustrated!" I swiped at my eyes, angry that I couldn't keep my emotions more in check. "I just... I _want_ to be able to say it back to you. Because you mean so much to me! You're my best friend, and… and so much more! I want to be able to say I lov- That I lov-"

Finally I gave up and just let the tears start running. "Damn it… Why can't I say it? I just want to tell you how I feel…"

I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me up against his chest, comforting me with his warmth. We just stood there for a while. Me and him. He waited patiently as I calmed down. Damn his patience… And his kindness… And the way he made me feel every time his hand brushed mine. Why did he have to make me care for him so damn much?!

After I'd quieted down, I could hear him humming something. The tune to my favorite song. It was the same one he'd been whistling on the way here too.

I sighed, clenching the fabric of his coat with my hands, whispering softly. "I want to do the same for you that you do for me... That's all…"

He kissed the top of my head, pulling back to look down at me.

"You already do that, Roxas."

Now I was really confused.

He smiled at my expression. "You're right, you've never said 'I love you,' out loud. But you say it all the time to me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Whenever you're sitting next to me on the clock tower, or laughing at one of my jokes, or even glaring at me for something I've done… I can feel your love."

I frowned. "You've been listening to too many love songs."

He chuckled. "Alright, I get it, that was cheesy." He put a hand on my cheek, smiling down at me. "Seriously though, Roxas. You don't have to say it for me to know. You're not the kind to go around announcing it to the world. I get that. It's something people have to really search for to see. It's subtle… But it's just as deep."

I blushed as he leaned down to kiss me, enjoying the moment of closeness with him.

"You… You really don't mind?" I was so sure it bothered him. That he felt sad every time I didn't say it back.

He shook his head, taking my hand and leading me towards the door. "Now that we've got that settled, let's get back to the plans!" His excitement for whatever he had in mind was fully restored. He grinned and winked at me. "I could carry you again if you like."

I glared at him. "I think I'll walk."

"That's too bad," he teased. "Your protesting was adorable."

"Shut up!" I jerked my hand out of his grip, stomping down the hallway ahead of him.

He laughed, running up behind me to hug me from behind, kissing my cheek. "I love you, Roxy."

I mumbled words of dismissal, embarrassed he was doing this in the middle of the hallway. He took my hand again, humming and taking me towards the portal.

I bit my lip looking up at him. We were almost at the portal, I could feel his excitement bubbling up, although he tried to stay calm about it.

"Hey… Axel?"

"Yeah, Roxas?"

"…Never mind."

"Alright."

He went through the portal first. I stood there staring at it, trying out the words in my mind.

He poked his head back through. "You coming?

I looked him straight in the eye, taking in a deep breath.

"I… I love you too…"

I swear, the smile on his face spread from ear to ear. It was ridiculous how happy those words made him.

I took in another breath, crossing through the portal. "And you better remember that, because I am _not_ saying that again!"

He chuckled. "Sure thing, Roxas. I got it memorized."

I sighed. Of course I'd fall in love with someone like him.

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Hope you enjoyed it! :3

~Sunny


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